Tag Archives: positive thinking

Happy International Day of Happiness!

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Happy International Day of Happiness!

 

Enjoy your day with people who make you smile and laugh. My family is lucky to be spending a fun day celebrating a special friend’s 5th birthday!

 

I am sharing the following from Action for Happiness which is a movement for positive social change.

“We want a society that prioritises the things that really matter. Join us and help spread happiness – at home, at work or in your community.”

Source: Let’s put the things that matter first

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Have a great day! ūüôā

Got Emotional Intelligence?

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EIMy family¬†and I practice our EI skills regularly.¬†¬†This is something I encourage you to take time for. Please be sure to do a “self-check” before your try to teach it to your kids or the people in your life. Expecting your children to learn and use these skills only works if you “Lead By Example”.¬† We are role models to everyone around us.¬†¬†Trying to improve and strengthen¬†your¬†emotional intelligence will help your children or the people you are closest to. ¬†The following is practical information to¬†begin learning and strengthening your Emotional Intelligence.

 

“Emotional Intelligence is the set of abilities that helps us get along in life with other people in all kinds of situations.” ¬†~Maurice H. Elias, Ph.D.¬†¬†¬† Rutgers University

Emotional intelligence is a wide range of skills that children (and adults) can develop and improve.  Developing and improving these skills are critical for emotional well-being and life success.

The following are social and emotional skills to focus on:

  • happiness and optimism
  • self-regard (self-compassion)
  • emotional self-awareness
  • assertiveness
  • independence
  • self-actualization
  • empathy
  • social responsibility
  • interpersonal relationship
  • flexibility
  • problem solving
  • stress tolerance
  • impulse control
  • conflict resolution

Please note,¬†happiness and optimism¬†are at the top of¬†this list.¬† It is my opinion that they should be.¬† If we focus on happiness and optimism we will be strengthening many of the other skills on this list. “My Happy” is full of ideas to strengthen your happiness and optimism.¬† Many of my posts discuss self-awareness. We need to be aware of our thoughts¬†and realize we can control them and choose to be positive. Using positive thinking can improve other skills.¬† Take flexibility for instance. I realized that I have difficulty with this at times.¬†In fact, I can really get annoyed ¬†when plans change at the last-minute.¬† My initial reaction was to become upset and react negatively (grumpiness, I know, hard to believe..ha ha).¬† After realizing I did this, I had more control over it. Now when something happens that forces me to¬†be flexible (when I don’t want to) I still may initially react negatively, but I can usually catch myself and change my attitude. ūüôā My improvement¬†happened as a result of¬† practicing positive thinking which contributed to my being a more flexible thinker.

Learning and improving these skills is important for everyone. Not only does it improve your social and emotional well-being, it leads to a more successful life.  This is a topic that I have wanted to share with others, especially caregivers because I know the value of these skills for children. Not only does it help children do well socially and emotionally, it increases learning potential.

As I continued my research in this area, I found CASEL. The Collaborative for Social and Emotional Learning, based at the University of Illinois at Chicago, seeks to enhance children’s success in school and life by promoting evidence-based social, emotional, and academic learning as an essential part of education from preschool through high school. I am looking forward to someday having SEL in schools world-wide.¬† Website: http://www.casel.org or check them out in my twitter feed!

Books to read:

EI Goleman         EI parenting

more to come…..

 

 

What Are You Focusing On In 2015?

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IMG_20150105_144042894 Journal given to me from my positive friend, Danielle

 

 

 

Focus, or “directed attention” has been life changing for me. When I first read¬†about an exercise to understand the power of our mind’s focus, I did not realize what an impact this would have for me.¬† I was reading about focusing thoughts. The writer asked the reader to think of the color red and notice how suddenly you would see red everywhere.¬† It was a cold winter day and I was reading¬†in the pick up line at my son’s¬†school.¬† I thought to myself, how funny, this won’t work with everything so white with snow. Driving home I noticed a red car, red door, another red car, red lights, and so on. Some of you may laugh and think, well that’s really not that unpredictable. Next, the writer suggests thinking about something bigger. I chose something that I wanted to have to help me exercise, but I didn’t want to spend the money for it. This took longer. I thought about it daily for weeks. One day I happen to find what I wanted and it was free for the taking (used, of course). This got my attention and I decided to keep an open mind as I¬†read more about the importance of our focus.

It’s rather simple if you think about it. Focus on positives and you will not only feel better, but you will open your eyes to let in more positives than you saw before.¬† I always thought of myself as making efforts to see the “glass half full” but, what I realized is that it is more than that. It is taking the time to really notice all the wonderful happenings or things around you that fill your world with positivity.¬† If you focus on negatives, you may only see the negative and miss other positives that are happening all around you.

Researcher, Richard Wiseman, conducted studies to understand why some people seemed luckier than others. He asked volunteers to read through a newspaper and count how many photos were in it. There were two groups of people: people who claimed to be lucky and people who felt they were unlucky. The lucky people were quicker to know the number of pictures than the unlucky people in this task. On the second page of the paper there was a large message reading “Stop counting, there are 43 photos in this newspaper.” It seems the people who felt unlucky missed the message. The people who felt lucky saw it.¬† This study and others like it show that people who focus on the positives are more optimistic. Optimism leads to being more¬†observant of positive opportunities. People who don’t feel lucky¬†(or who¬†do not seek out positives)¬†may miss out on positive things all around them.

“My Happy”¬†is one way for me to¬†stay focused on the positives. What better way to organize information for myself and others to benefit from? I didn’t realize all the other wonderful things that would come from this happiness¬†blog.

I have friends and family who supported me by reading or following this blog. Besides that apparent support, I had¬†many opportunities for¬†wonderful conversations about things I was writing about.¬†I realized my¬†friends and family shared my interests. Some examples¬†of focusing on the positives leading to increased positivity for me were:¬†¬†receiving¬†a daily positive quote book,¬†learning about¬†twitter,¬†receiving current information to add to my blog, sharing of a¬†book¬†¬†“14,000 Things to be Happy About”,¬†¬†receiving a journal to help me organize all my ideas.¬†One of my favorite results was¬†when my older son told me he thinks¬†my blog is¬†“cool”!( If you are a parent, you know how amazing¬†THAT is)¬†Staying focused on the positives and opening up about it has led to these experiences and more for me. These may sound like small things, but aren’t the small daily connections we make so important?

My positive friend Lois, who encouraged my idea to blog and guided me to WordPress, led me to a community of bloggers which I have received support and encouragement from. It has also given me the opportunity to learn from their blogs and gain new perspectives from all over the world!

I hope you are excited about practicing this simple strategy of directing your attention to the positivity around you, if you¬†don’t already, in 2015! May your focus on positivity lead to more positivity!

Below is the 2nd¬†“Happy Discovery” (previous post) for grown ups.¬†¬†My positive friend, Margit, shared this book with me. I loved reading about this writer, Barbara Ann Kipfer.¬†She started her happiness journal in 6th grade! Reading through this book really puts a smile on your face. ūüôā

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Barbara Ann Kipfer also has a website http://www.thingstobehappyabout.com

A very special thank you to Patricia and Dan for staying so positive when my family can be a handful, awesome, but a handful.

To my friend Kim for staying positive through a tough situation, you inspire me!

 

Here’s To A Happy New Year! (Are you with me?)

“Cloud of Love” Gift of Love

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Are you looking for a special gift for someone you love?¬†“Cloud of Love”¬†is something I did with my kids for birthday gifts in our family. I thought you might like the idea for the holidays. For those of you who might not know, Clouds are groups of words showing categories viewed on blogs, websites, and other social media. This “Cloud” though, is created of reasons why you love your special someone.

The title of the “Cloud” can¬†include the person’s age. For example, 60 Reasons We Love Mimi.¬† I chose to use the person’s age to determine how many reasons¬†are used. You can choose¬†to do the¬†same or another number that is¬†meaningful to you.¬† List reasons using different sizes, colors, even fonts, if you are computer savvy¬†or simply use paper with crayons, markers, or pens.

Once you have created your cloud, it could be framed or placed in the front of a photo album (They still make these, right?). You could also include pictures of the person with you or your children. I have¬†given a partial¬†example below. (There are not¬†60 reasons in the example.¬†It gives you the idea, though.) ¬†I also included it as a document link. I think you could use it as a template, please let me know if you try it. ūüôā

https://myhappydotme.files.wordpress.com/2014/12/60-reasons-we-love-mimi2.docx

Cloud of Love.jpeg

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Happiness for the Holidays

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happy holidaysJust like adults, children sometimes have stress, anxieties, or get overly excited during the holiday season.  Here are a few strategies to help yourself and your child enjoy the holidays and each other:

Be sure to do a self-check. If you are getting nervous, stressed or frustrated trying to “do it all”. It will surely trickle down to your children. Don’t be shy to ask for help! It’s okay to ask for help because it will strengthen your relationships.

Make sure you don’t get overwhelmed by keeping what is truly important in mind, your beliefs in the holiday your family¬†celebrates, your family, and helping or appreciating¬†others as well. It’s a great time of year to show appreciation to others who help your family in some way. Also, it is a¬†time to help other families who may need it during the holidays.

Make lists and keep a journal. Making lists of items you need to buy or things you need to get accomplished. Be sure to write down a day you would like these tasks to be done. I also started to keep a journal of holiday giving to help me remember from year to year what we have given.

It’s also a good time of year to give to charities, food pantries, and shelters. Schools and stores usually have toy or gift drives. Wal-Mart, for example,¬†has a giving tree with gift requests on it. You can¬†select a¬†tag off the tree, buy the request, and then give it to the customer service staff member. This is a good thing to do with your children so that they understand the importance of giving, even to other families¬†they may not know.

A side note regarding donations. There are organizations in your area that need families to make donations which help your own community.  One way to make donating easier is by making a payment monthly for one year. Small monthly donations can be given automatically through your bank to the recipient.   This commitment is actually better for the recipient.

Strategies For Kids:

Give kids age appropriate “jobs” to help with holiday preparations. One idea is wrapping gifts. Cut paper to size of gift. Give your child sized paper, pieces of tape (or if old enough, the tape dispenser), bows, and a bag to place when finished. Here is the big tip for you: Love however they wrap the gift! Sometimes we have to “let go” of how we might do something because it’s all good. ūüôā The recipient will enjoy your child’s wrapping abilities no matter what. Other jobs may include: help with cleaning (socks on hands to dust is always fun), decorating, cooking, and making gifts.

Deep breaths (in through the nose, out through the mouth) and exercise daily.  Kids need to be taught how to take a deep breath. Elementary teachers sometimes  explain to their students, it is like smelling flowers and blowing out  birthday candles. Be sure to tell them to only do one deep breath, but remind them a few times during the day. If you practice this daily, your children will be able to use it more effectively when they really need it to calm themselves. Exercise is very important for your children to keep calm as well. An easy indoor activity is Freeze Dancing. Turn on your favorite tunes, but when the music goes off, you freeze! The kids really like this and they get some exercise.

Read and discuss holiday traditions along with their usual favorite books. (Bedtime is a great time for this. Kids are very open to conversations at this time. Especially if they get to stay up a little late. ūüėČ )

Emphasize Giving Make or buy gifts together for others. Include them in buying for the toy or gift drive you donate to. It will get your child thinking about how others need our support.

Teach expected behaviors for giving and receiving. For example, when receiving a gift always say “thank you” and something kind about the gift. When giving a gift watch the person open it and respond to a thank you with “you’re welcome”. This not only gives them the words to use,¬†it¬†provides¬†the opportunity to learn about gratitude.

If you are visiting another home for a holiday party be sure to tell your kids beforehand the usual sequence of events and what is expected of them during the party. Remind them that expected behavior is important for everyone to have fun and stay safe. If you have a child who has difficulty in these less structured events, be certain to respect any concerns they have and help them to¬†feel comfortable. It’s okay to request information from the host or bring something with you to help your child feel more comfortable. Don’t put your feelings or anxieties on them, however. Don’t ask or suggest anything negative, simply listen if they bring up a concern and reassure them that you will help them if needed.

Older kids need support, too.¬†They would benefit¬†by your sharing the above strategies with them (in your own words) and ask them what they might like to try this year. It may just be the conversation starter you are looking for. (Don’t forget…bedtime is a great time to ask and listen.)

Hopefully, you are also working on your happiness with visualizing, family cheers, exercise, getting rest, being thankful, being mindful, meditating, self-compassion, and thinking positive thoughts. Holidays are a wonderful opportunity to create amazing memories for your family and others. I hope this helps you and your children enjoy this special time of year. Please share some of your own strategies that have helped your holidays be happy in the comment section. I look forward to learning from you!

More to come……

 

 

Thankful

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Thankful

This was my first Thanksgiving as a blogger. In fact, my blog is about happiness, positive thinking, social thinking, emotional intelligence and being grateful! It is the perfect opportunity to write about how much we need to have gratitude to be happy, how our children need to be taught how to be thankful and why, that studies are showing happy and resilient people are the most grateful people! Unfortunately, I was stumped. I let the holiday slip by without a terrific post about having an attitude of gratitude!

I researched and found many wonderful posts, articles, studies regarding this special holiday and it overwhelmed me. I felt an obligation to give my readers something they have not seen elsewhere, something special. Instead, I started to feel like I wasn’t doing enough anywhere in my life. I didn’t make super cute crafts with my kids, I didn’t have them write any thank yous, I¬†only read one¬†Thanksgiving story.¬† I was caring for my¬†sick kids (colds being passed to each other), trying to figure out how to balance¬†my family’s needs¬†with my needs¬†during these last few weeks, stay well myself, not to mention trying to be a supportive wife, friend, and sister.

So, I took a deep breath. I decided to take my own advice and be kind to myself. Instead of feeling badly¬†about what I didn’t do,¬†I thought back to the memories of Thanksgivings past with my family as a child. I tried to do some of the things we¬†had done then that made the time together seem so special. Little things, like celery with cream cheese, using little leaf dishes, and turkey napkins. Once we were seated for dinner, I said¬†a blessing and my husband asked each of us¬†to name one thing we were grateful for.¬†We, then,¬†simply enjoyed each other for the rest of the day.

I do hope my readers who celebrate Thanksgiving had a wonderful holiday. Whether it be this holiday or another that you might share some of my experience, I would love to hear about it.

Thankful for friends, family,¬†¬†“My Happy” readers, and¬†all who care for my family

Happy for each new day

Always hopeful
Never sad for too long
Kindness is appreciated
Say I love you, often
Give even a little
Invest in your loved ones
Visit every chance you get
I am wishing everyone peace and love
No worries
Get some rest

ūüôā ~feeling thankful

 

Kindness For You, Not Excuses

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Everywhere there are acts of kindness taking place. Our local channel for children has a kindest kid contest, teachers have kindness walls, counselors are telling of kindness as the key to successful relationships, I want to bring your attention to one of the most important ways to be kind that you might be missing.

I’m sure you are kind to your children or children you care for, I’m sure you are kind to your husband, wife, extended family, friends, colleagues, church groups, sales clerks, and I could go on. My question is, are you kind to yourself?

You are a very important person in your life, you are your first best friend, have you appreciated yourself lately? Are you chuckling to yourself right now reading this? I hope it is because you know I am right! It is called self-compassion. Be sure to take time to nurture yourself, create your happiness (of course, I had to say that), take a break, smell the roses, and appreciate yourself. We tend to be our own worse critics. We¬†will judge ourselves where we wouldn’t judge or criticize another.¬† This is a current area of research because so many of us have difficulty with this. However you treat and see yourself, others will too.

This is especially important if you do have children.¬†Your children will learn about self-compassion by the example that you set.¬†¬†I discovered inspiring books for my children by Dr. Wayne W. Dyer¬†which help them to understand¬†self compassion, self-awareness¬†and ¬†improve their self-confidence.¬†Dr. Dyer¬†wrote “Incredible You” and “Unstoppable Me”, among others.¬† These, like many children’s books, are wonderful to read over and over throughout your children’s childhood. Because my children liked¬† these books, I looked for another. I then found, “No Excuses!”

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“No Excuses!” is a¬†story of a young boy who loved sea turtles and dreamed of becoming a marine biologist. My oldest son and I refer to this book often as a reminder to stay focused on our goals.¬†¬†The first time I read¬†this with my son, I learned a lesson myself!

Dr. Dyer¬†writes this story to¬†increase children’s understanding of¬†what excuses are, where they come from¬†and not to let excuses stand in the way of their dreams.¬† I had never really thought about my own excuses in the way he described.¬† At the end of this book I noticed that Dr. Dyer had written a more¬†in-depth book for adults titled “EXCUSES BEGONE!”¬† How to Change Lifelong, Self-Defeating Thinking Habits. Got it, read it, and I would recommend it, if you find yourself holding back because of excuses. This was where I first realized how strong our mindsets are but,¬†how possible it is to change them. When I asked my children to believe in themselves that they can do anything with effort, a good support team, and positive thinking….why was I not telling myself the same?

I hope¬†YOU know that with effort, a good support team, and positive thinking¬†¬†you can do anything! Are you telling yourself the same?¬†Remember to be kind to yourself and don’t let your excuses stand in the way of reaching your goals, big or small. ūüôā