Kindness For You, Not Excuses

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Everywhere there are acts of kindness taking place. Our local channel for children has a kindest kid contest, teachers have kindness walls, counselors are telling of kindness as the key to successful relationships, I want to bring your attention to one of the most important ways to be kind that you might be missing.

I’m sure you are kind to your children or children you care for, I’m sure you are kind to your husband, wife, extended family, friends, colleagues, church groups, sales clerks, and I could go on. My question is, are you kind to yourself?

You are a very important person in your life, you are your first best friend, have you appreciated yourself lately? Are you chuckling to yourself right now reading this? I hope it is because you know I am right! It is called self-compassion. Be sure to take time to nurture yourself, create your happiness (of course, I had to say that), take a break, smell the roses, and appreciate yourself. We tend to be our own worse critics. We will judge ourselves where we wouldn’t judge or criticize another.  This is a current area of research because so many of us have difficulty with this. However you treat and see yourself, others will too.

This is especially important if you do have children. Your children will learn about self-compassion by the example that you set.  I discovered inspiring books for my children by Dr. Wayne W. Dyer which help them to understand self compassion, self-awareness and  improve their self-confidence. Dr. Dyer wrote “Incredible You” and “Unstoppable Me”, among others.  These, like many children’s books, are wonderful to read over and over throughout your children’s childhood. Because my children liked  these books, I looked for another. I then found, “No Excuses!”

no excuses

“No Excuses!” is a story of a young boy who loved sea turtles and dreamed of becoming a marine biologist. My oldest son and I refer to this book often as a reminder to stay focused on our goals.  The first time I read this with my son, I learned a lesson myself!

Dr. Dyer writes this story to increase children’s understanding of what excuses are, where they come from and not to let excuses stand in the way of their dreams.  I had never really thought about my own excuses in the way he described.  At the end of this book I noticed that Dr. Dyer had written a more in-depth book for adults titled “EXCUSES BEGONE!”  How to Change Lifelong, Self-Defeating Thinking Habits. Got it, read it, and I would recommend it, if you find yourself holding back because of excuses. This was where I first realized how strong our mindsets are but, how possible it is to change them. When I asked my children to believe in themselves that they can do anything with effort, a good support team, and positive thinking….why was I not telling myself the same?

I hope YOU know that with effort, a good support team, and positive thinking  you can do anything! Are you telling yourself the same? Remember to be kind to yourself and don’t let your excuses stand in the way of reaching your goals, big or small. 🙂

About Tiffany

Hi, I am Tiffany and I am blogging about creating "Your Happy". Before having my own children, I happily taught 5th and 6th graders for several years. My first love in education was Psychology which I received a Bachelor of Arts. I then decided to pursue a Master in Education to become a classroom teacher. Having taught many students and then my own children, I became very interested in understanding why some children seem to have an easier time socially than others. I have been recently reading about Positive Psychology. I want to share the information that I have found very helpful in my own life. I am not an expert in happiness but only a new purposeful creator of my own happy. There is a balance to achieve for happiness that is being discussed and researched by psychologists. My intent is to introduce this new information so that you may use it to create "Your Happy". I also want to share "My Happy" because that is part of my balance towards happiness. Helping others has always been a passion of mine. Doing your passion is part of the balance towards being happy. It is so important to recognize that we are all responsible for creating our own happiness. The first concept I want to share is: if you are happy, success will follow. Unfortunately, the belief typically is: if you are successful, you will be happy. I am thankful to Wordpress.com for giving me a place to blog. I am also very grateful to those dedicated to doing the research in this area. I am looking forward to creating this blog and having a place to share "Our Happy".

4 responses »

  1. This was so important for me to read. I tend to be very hard on myself, and can be my worst critic at times. This opened my eyes to be kind and compassionate to myself again and nurture myself with no excuses, perfect reminder right before the holidays too! I look forward to checking out those books and reading the children’s one with my son, thank you! 🙂

  2. i don’t have children yet but this is soooo true, you can’t actually love others if you don’t love yourself in a first place.

    • Hi Michael! Even better if you understand this before children. 🙂 Check out my Twitter Feed (sidebar of Home page) to see Emma Seppala (from Standford University) give a talk about compassion and kindness in “The Power and Science of Social Connection” I think you will like it. I really appreciate your comment.

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